Nauseous and Congested

Everyone loves to ask, 

"How do you feel?"

And if it's not that, it'll be, 

"Are you nervous?" "Excited?" "Are you ready?"

Certainly there are many things that one can 'feel' when pregnant.  

In the third trimester I can say I feel nauseous and congested mostly. Nauseous when I eat too much, or eat too fast. Congested almost everyday, but congested as in, my ears are plugged and I can barely hear over the sound of my own breathing. I'm feeling generally worse than I did one trimester ago when I could go hiking without my belly feeling extraordinarily heavy, or eat without wondering if I'll vomit later.

Otherwise, I have very few feelings. 

I have many thoughts though. 

I think about how I haven't decided on curtains, or a lamp for the guest room where my mom and Isaac's mom will stay. And how the room might look if we make it eventually into an office-nursery combo.

I think about how we still need to disinfect bottles, pack a hospital bag, and put backup towels in our cars in case my water should break unexpectedly.

I think about how I don't know if I'm ready to give up this life of  'two'. How I'm going to miss all the time I have for myself, or the time we have with just us.

I think about how every subsequent decision we have to make in life will need to consider one more person, and how we're going to go about making hard decisions.

I think about how I'm supposed to be a good parent, how I might do things similarly or differently than my own parents.  

There are so many things to think about - what does it even matter how I'm feeling? 

Here's to the four week countdown.

 05.22.2025