looks nice

Today I completed my last of three designs for event posters. Someone commented today about how much they liked my design, and how perfect it was for the event.

And I was ecstatic.

It's not to say I haven't been complimented for my work before, I have. But compliments don't usually mean much to me; I've never felt they were all that genuine. Obligatory remarks about how it looks nice or how it's good paired with slightly forced smiles and head nods. Even with the amount of effort and passion I put into creating designs, I often feel like I spend more time 'advertising' it to others. It's a reoccurring feeling.

Recognize me. Tell me it's good. Tell me I'm good.

I realize how much I still seek worth, affirmation, and recognition from this life and my work, rather than from God. And I forget how much all this 'creativity' and 'design' talent came from God.

COOL STORY TIME!
I didn't really start graphic design till senior year of high school - when I designed my first real t-shirt for a camp t-shirt contest. Before then I was making wallpapers made of photo composites of rhythmic gymnasts, abstract design graphics, and my personal photos. Yeah, I did that. My introduction to photoshop, and much too embarrassing to link for you to see.
At one point, after years of feeling worthless and refusing to find identity in Christ, I finally relented my so called 'worth' in the world. And it was then when God revealed to me a joy and talent in design my freshman year of college. Whaaaaaat.

I am thankful that I can serve others with my work, that I can help my organizations. I am thankful not because of  how I can create, but I am thankful because of how God has enabled me to create. I am thankful that, regardless of whether or not my designs are 'good' or if anyone likes them, that my worth is in Christ alone.

What good news.

end mind dump.
senior day #183
02.15.16