freshman day #15

eating alone.

I'm sitting alone in the library at 9:40PM trying to finish up a project for my Computers in Business class tomorrow. Lots of Asians walking in and out. (I can no longer classify my Asian American buddies as just Asians). Some of them are harder to distinguish than others, but their clothes usually give them away. Or just when they talk. They all talk quite loudly.

College, is very different from high school. You can sit alone at lunch, at dinner, in the library, and no one will really mind you. You can dress however you want, act however you want, and everyone around you will go about their business, as you go about yours.

It's definitely been lonely eating by myself this past week. When you're too busy to get together with anyone to eat, you just kinda sit there at an empty table and awkwardly ram food into your mouth for 5-10 minutes before hurrying on your way. Earbuds jammed into your ear are optional. Pretending to text people and slowly scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and e-mails that you've seen twice already is also optional.

I'm waiting to decide on clubs and fellowships. Waiting for my schedule to settle down so I can throw in some time to exercise and time to actually eat and time to watch my shows and time to hang-out after finishing my HW early on. Waiting to make some actual friends in classes so I can chat with them online about homework and teachers. So that I won't have to always stay up an extra hour depending on friends back at home to relieve me of my loneliness and the fact that I've barely spoken to another being all day.

It'll get better, it's only week 2.


THE END.
09.04.2013