work is meaningless.

I've wanted to write this for quite sometime. I've literally had it sitting in my drafts since April of this year. But I'm sitting here listening to A's 'Till There Was You' playlist on a Monday night, and I've resolved to write this.

My friend S once said, isn't it funny, that we prayed for 'our calling' for so long...and now we're living it? We're living our calling.

And it's been...rather disappointing. We waited all those years expecting things after college to be bigger, better, more wonderful and satisfying, the grand viewpoint after the long, strenuous, and unforgiving hike that is life. But we've gotten to the top and it's really rather anticlimactic.

In college I wasn't afraid to share my bitterness and exasperation with recruiting and how college wasn't all I thought it to be. But suddenly I'm afraid to talk about life like that. Like I've been in denial for the last two years that nothing has really changed. It's the same sentiment. What's the goal here? A promotion? 6 figures? A vacation home when I retire? Post-grad, the stakes have changed. I've just finished one race and then entered another. Except this one is bigger, has more competitors, and more uncontrollable variables. And yet, it still all seems rather meaningless.

Ecclesiastes has never rung truer than it does now. 

There are certainly many joys post-grad. But these things are not work. Jesus did not call us to find our full satisfaction and worth in our jobs. Jesus tells us to work as if we are working for the Lord. And to find life in Him. We won't ever find full satisfaction in our work. That's just how we were created.

Outside of work, I think after striving so long for 'what's next', it's been hard and strange to enjoy what I have now. But I have free time to grab meals and build relationships with others. The means to travel, explore, and do fun things. A place to call home after work.

And so, I heed Solomon's words in Ecclesiastes 11:9

You who are young, be happy while you are young,
    and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
    and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
    God will bring you into judgment. 

And 12:13

 Now all has been heard;
    here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
    for this is the duty of all mankind.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24

the end.
10.07.19