work day thoughts #6

I am living my calling. 

Is that right? For 4 years we all prayed about our calling - where we would end up after college, what job we would be doing, what city we would live in. How we would serve with our talents and skills, how we would be involved in giving back to our communities and our churches. 

And here we are. Living our calling. 

Is this it?

And what is the difference between feeling a calling / draw of the heart towards missions, vs. wanting to eschew and leave the current burdens of the yuppy life? 

Should the former be the driving motivator to go on missions? What do you do if you have the latter? 

I guess to truly discern my call to missions, I should be doing more to explore and understand missions. Look up organizations, start serving / giving locally with missions based groups, and praying about missions. 

But do I need to fix my heart and recognize that I should be content in the place that I am now? Ultimately we yearn for heaven, for God to be triumphant, for death and sin to be conquered. We can't get that in this life. 

So maybe I need to stop expecting that missions and full time ministry would be something like that. Maybe I need to look for more of God in the now. I need to remember that my salvation is not contingent on my works, it is not contingent on what I accomplish. Am I seeking to earn God's approval in this way?

08.15 & 08.21.2019