where do I want to be in four years?

from 04.03.2013
 
I think this would be the best question to ask myself in trying to decide my college.

I want to be happy, of course. I want to know exactly who I am, and not feel any of the doubt and unworthiness I’ve had linger around me the past countless years. I hope I’ll be truly joyous, truly cheerful to the core. I want to feel my full worth and confidence in Jesus Christ, knowing that He has saved me and that He is what I ultimately live for, not myself. I want to be so confident in my faith that I can boldly preach it, knowing my testimony and how Jesus Christ and God the Father has saved me in my weakest, frailest, and most miserable state. That the God Almighty of the heavens and the universe so beyond our comprehension has reached down and embraced my heart. That is most important thing I want to be in four years. Be completely secured and humble and full of praise for my faith in Jesus.

I hope I won’t let others define who I am, that I won’t be intimidated or submissive towards what others think of me, because I will have full faith and strength in God and God alone. I hope I won’t still be so OCD and perfection oriented; it takes so much effort and pain to be so.

I would like to think I won’t be as whiny as I am now, that I’d be more grateful, appreciative, and humble in dealing with my problems. No one really cares all that much, and whining about things really doesn’t make things better, Stephanie.

I hope I will truly love those around me; that I would “let my light so shine before men, that they may see my good work, and glorify my Father in heaven.” I want not to judge others, to love fully and completely, but at the same time, know the difference between God’s laws and the sins of the earth, and be discerning when needed. I hope I will have the courage to correct and reprove of the sins around me, out of love and not out of judgment or dislike or hatred.
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Stumbled across this while going through some old files. Can you believe how the time has passed? Praise God who, works all things out, regardless of what college I went to and what I chose for myself. Crazy how, much of these prayers and hopes are still the same today. I can never be fully reliant on myself, right? Always a work in progress.
But I guess the follow up question to this is - where do I want to be in another four years?

10.14.18