paint spot.

K has moved out now, and I have just short of a month before my new roommate moves in. And ever since she left (literally just a few days ago), I've had this unending urge to "fill up" her absence with new furniture, apartment fix-ups, and cleaning.

For example, today, after a year, I decided to look into the spot on our bathtub light and change out the bulb to something brighter. There was always a long, oblong spot on the ceiling light (think this) that I chose to believe was a paint spot. After all, there were paint spots in some of our other light fixtures, and I definitely didn't want it to be a bug.

But it was a bug.

It was a massive, dead cockroach that had been laying on its back on the glass for a year. Maybe longer, who knows.

I had to look away while brushing it into the trash can because I was so mortified by it. And everything was still in tact, every leg and antennae....

But I did all of this, at 1:30 in the morning on Tuesday.

In the past couple days I've purchased a welcome mat, napkin holder, shoe rack, and pack of air filters, also replaced 3 light bulbs, rearranged the dishware in all 3 of the kitchen cabinets, and also added place mats, kitchen towels, living room rug, and floor lamp to my "to buy" shopping list.

That should be concerning. I am concerned for myself.

And I had to ask myself, why had I become so obsessive with cleaning up and in a sense, "updating" the apartment? Am I unsatisfied with it? Am I just wildly aware of my now absolute control over the unit? Am I trying to 'perfect' this apartment, as a substitute for something else in life I cannot perfect?

Today's women's small group message was on Anna. Anna from Luke 2:36-38. She has an unbelievably unremarkable familial background and life, and yet she's identified by name and given three verses in the bible. Just 3. But what's remarkable is the simplicity of her life and how she's dedicated to the temple and to the Lord; worshiping, praying and fasting day and night. In the last verse, she proclaims the coming of Christ, and how he will redeem Jerusalem.

Can you imagine a life so simple that 3 verses would capture the essence of your story? That the one thing that marked your life was your dedication to God? It reminds me of the song 'Simplicity'

I come in simplicity
Longing for purity
To worship You
In spirit and truth
Only You

In the midst of the busyness and craziness that is life, that is adulting, that is managing work and relationships - I pray that I might remember the simplicity and the main point of it all - that we might bring glory to our Lord and King.

the end.
07.05.18