not single.

Hello friends.

So, the question is always, "How is your relationship going?"
And I've always replied with, "It's good!", followed by a slow head nod, a smile, and then a "Yep!" I'm not very rehearsed at answering the question. And with the pass-by nature of most conversations these days, the head nod and three-word-summary usually suffices. And interestingly enough, my answer hasn't really changed over the course of this past year. Yeah, a year!!

A YEAR!
What an accomplishment (aha).
I have successfully maintained a formal relationship with someone for 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. Craziness. When did I get to be so responsible?! (Arguable.)

We dated long-distance from November to July - a total of 8 months before we both settled within the Houston metropolitan area. This excludes the time we spent "getting to know each other" prior to dating.

Long distance was good for me.
At the time, I was serving in my college fellowship, and the distance freed me up to serve with greater flexibility and time. I was there with people on campus, and I could spend good time with others even as Isaac and I were dating. Isaac encouraged me and challenged me throughout, but I was serving as a 'single person', and that was a blessing. As Paul describes the married and unmarried concerns in the infamous 1 Corinthians 7, he extols singleness "...not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."
That's not to say I would enjoy doing long-distance again, as it undeniably had its challenges. But I'm thankful for that time in our relationship.

We've now spent about 4 months in the same "city" - the greater area of Houston. And that has brought challenges as well. We've had wrestle through how we communicate in person, how much time we spend together and with others, how we serve together, how the future will look...We have to continually challenge ourselves and each other about our walks with God and how our relationship is glorifying Him.

Relationships and dating, as lovely as it looks from the outside, is such hard work, y'all.

Maybe I'm exaggerating, given my limited emotional capacity and stubborn self-dependence.
But even so!

1. Communicating on a consistent basis in an honest manner is quite difficult. It requires a lot of vulnerability, a lot of self-reflection, a lot of humbling and letting down walls.
2. It's okay to let people do things for you, apparently it comes pretty standard with relationships.
3. I am a selfish person, who mostly cares for myself. And I had to learn, in addition to letting someone else care for me, that I too am responsible for caring for someone else.
4. Dating mostly consists of eating meals, strolling around, and hanging out with friends together, but it's nice cause you like them. :)
5. People can be so different than you expect them to be. There's a certain wonder to learning all about another person - their strengths, their flaws, their passions, their peeves, who they "really" are. Isaac used to think I was a 'gentle person' who had most my life together. L O L.
6. Being in a relationship really highlights your flaws. There's another person at the end of every selfish, every prideful, and every inconsiderate action or speech you make. But I'm thankful that there's someone who can point out those things for me. 
7. "Dating for marriage" is thrown around a lot in our Christian culture, and if you're me, you don't realize in the beginning how intentional it is, or the timeline of doing so. There's a lot of things about the future that you have to consider, and a lot of tough questions you have to wrestle around your self-independence and your self-goals. There's eventually some sacrifice needed.

Anyways. They have marriage and dating books that'll provide actual guidance if you want to read more (aha).

But that's all I got for now. Also, this is officially my first ever post about me dating. (harhar)

the end.