houston day #44

hello friends.

Long time no see.
To be honest, it's not that I haven't had anything to write, I just haven't taken the time to sit and process. Additionally, I'm a bit lost.

As much as it is exciting to have moved to a new city, started a new job, and begun creating a new chapter in my life, I've had difficulty "labeling" this next stage. Dumb as it sounds...
But I have no catchy hashtag, no way to distinguish my first year as an "adult", no current or future benchmarks I know to mark my life by.

And as someone who is much too fond of categorizing and labeling everything, it's been a challenge then, to know how to organize my thoughts. I don't quite know what my goals should be, what I should be working towards, what comes next really...

That just makes me sound aimless and listless, so let me explain.

In college, progression was natural. There were four, distinct chapters, and each came with their own societal and academic expectations. By the end of each year, you could check off whether you did everything you were supposed to do.

• friends
• extracurriculars (academic)
• extracurriculars (fun)
• leadership
• classes/prerequisites
• internships/jobs
• planning for the next year

Rinse and repeat.

But what do I do now?
I've got my

• job
• income/savings
• coworkers
• apartment
• furniture/utilities
• roommate
• relationship

and still need my

• church
• small group

but then what?

then what?

The adulting thing, is frankly much more vague than you'd think it to be. Even after the checklist, you're not entirely sure if you're doing it right or not. There is no academic counselor to tell you that you're "on track for life" like graduation. 

So do pardon, I should say.

Praying that I be looking to God for guidance, that I understand that these are not things I can handle on my own, that I know that it's okay to seek help. 

In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9 

Also, apologies for the excessive number of bullet points but it helps my ease the disorganization that are my thoughts right now.

end rant.
08.20.17