not invited

Recruiting is hard.

Sure, the face-to-face career fairs, networking, and general information sessions are incredibly exhausting, but so is writing cover letters, editing resumes, and seeing your ‘PENDING’ applications become ‘NOT INVITED’.
I’m trying not to be too bummed about the 5 I’ve been rejected from, and prepare myself for the one INVITED I got for an amazing company. But it’s hard to grasp that I only have one chance, and that there aren’t many ‘Plan B’ options.

I think a lot of people think the business school is filled with jerks. Cocky people who don’t have the brains to provide any substance to their words.
I think that way too. But I’m beginning to see that maybe the excessive pride and confidence is used to make up for other things. Everyone, no matter how seemingly successful, accomplished, or certain, still has their own failures, worries, and insecurities.

I thought going into recruiting season with a ___GPA, ‘experience and leadership building’ extracurriculars, and additional work experience would help me land a a ton of internship interviews. I worked hard for that GPA and I worked hard to serve in my organizations. An advisor in our career center even told me, “You’ll start to see the interview requests start flowing in soon.”

But no, I haven’t. And I'm not going to lie, it's incredibly disheartening.

And I’m reminded that no matter how hard I work, there is nothing I can control, and nothing I can do after I'm 'not invited'.
But at the same time, there's nothing I need  to control and nothing I need to worry about.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” --James 4:13-15

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. --Philippians 4:4-7

Trusting and submitting my future to God. Is there any other way? Hope in God and have peace, or worry about it and be stressed. Why do I constantly choose the worse option? Grateful for God's great mercy, love, and blessings.

09.30.15
junior day #39