freshman day #163

This week is just pitiful. And it's only Wednesday!

I'm pretty sure every time I go estrogen-high I change my "prospective life plan."

That's not particularly efficient, that means I'll have several different life plans each year until well, FOREVER.

One time I dead set myself to start a club and even researched what kind of club it would be and how I would increase membership as a new organization.
Last time I was I decided I was going to start my own business online and ask people to help code for the html and all that. Then I would go on Shark-Tank and get investments and just work my own business for the rest of my life.

This time I've discovered that I'm infuriated regarding anything and everything of the business school.
I realized that I didn't care about having a well-paying job,
the I don't expect to get married and have a family,
and consequently what would a well-paying job even fulfill?
My appetite and a full wardrobe?
How long would that even satisfy me?!

I decided that I didn't care to join a business fraternity,

I didn't care if I had a "well-rounded resume" to get an internships to then put on my resume for JOBS.

CAUSE I DON'T WANT A SIX-FIGURE JOB.
But then I realized I had no plan for my future and that I really don't know what I want to study or major in and that I really want to do something worthwhile with my life, but having a "good job" and being "professional" wearing business clothes all day, consulting or managing projects or trying to make things efficient to save/generate more revenue for a company sounded like the least fulfilling thing I could ever do with my life.

WONDERFUL.

What does God want me to do with my life? What's His plan?! What in the world am I doing with myself?! God, I need you.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3: 16-21

That passage sounds a bit unrelated, but man when you're feeling down, just flip through the Epistles. Just reading tiny sections on how beautiful Christ's love and salvation is for us. And the hope we have in Him. God is so good.

end rant.
01.30.2014