freshman day #106

Why hello there!

I haven't written in awhile. In part because I didn't have much to say, part because I went on break and I saw all y'all, and part because this is my dashboard and it says no one has read me in....forever :(


But anywhoo, I will write for my own pleasure. Today I woke up at 3:35AM for my 6:15 flight to Houston and then to Indy. I didn't really sleep last night, but I spent most of today sleeping, so it's all good. Thanksgiving break was truly the best stress-reliever-happy-making-good-feelings time in a long time. I love it here, but at the same time it's always so nice to go home. I am so blessed to have such an amazing youth group and I can't imagine what high school would have been like without all y'all. Praise God. Much love my children, much love.

I didn't see any school friends, but to be brutally honest there weren't many people I was 'craving' to see, for lack of a better term...It seems like I want to eat people.

The relationships I had with people in high school were just all so shallow, moving to Indiana never felt like I was necessarily breaking any crucial bonds that might destroy my stability. I think what makes college friendships so different, especially here at IU, is the lack of obligation.

You join clubs and make friends how you choose, and if you meet someone and they're not someone you could really be friends with, you're not obligated to force a single-knotted tie with them just for the sake of doing so. In addition, an identity as an 'Asian American' holds about as much water as Texas ponds in the summer do. There aren't really any organizations that gather hordes of Asian Americans that you would then be obligated to be friends with, and being an Asian American doesn't make you friends with any other Asian American. It's hard to describe, but I hope I'm making sense and not sounding horribly racist or anything of the sort. But I know (or at least I dearly hope so) the friends I've made here...are actually friends that I could and would get to know really well, and appreciate the company of (and they, the company of me).

I wrote a tumblr post way, way back that sorta dealt with this:

There are a number of things in that post that no longer apply to me, but I would say leaving the state actually has changed a lot of things I didn't think would have changed.

On a side note, is it narcissistic to say that I really like to read my old posts. It's interesting to see how my writing style still remains pretty much the same but my mentality on several things has really changed over time.

GOD IS GOOD. Definitely. He has answered so many prayers I have no idea how I could ever survive without Him and his goodness and his love and provisions. How do I deserve to even make requests before Him. Ahh, too good, too awesome.

p.s. 20 DAYS TILL WINTER BREAK ♥

And Christmas music makes me sad because it reminds me of home but I can't go back till after FINALS and these PROJECTS.


THE END.
12.01.13