We've been going through topical bible studies in EPIC regarding struggles particular to Asian American Christians. And I've been very convicted as of late of my "self-dependence" and "self-righteousness" in my faith. I often feel like my 'obedience' and 'faith' to Christ warrants me earthly blessings - interviews, good grades, happy life, you name it. And you get all wrapped up in what these things seem to provide - comfort, security, self-worth.
Doing good so far God, thanks for your help and support! I'll come back if I need anything.
My pastor asked us, "Do you have faith in Christ or do you have faith in your faith?"
And that's not to say that "faith" is bad - but I've been believing that by having faith I deserve things in life.
Because I've been a good Christian, that's why I got all my second rounds and because I'm a good Christian that's why I'm doing so well in school and my life is going so well.
Or do I have faith that He's in control even if all shit hits the fan?
Do I have faith in my salvation and what's he's done on the cross?
Questions to ponder.
We don't deserve anything. I'm not to forget that. I absolutely don't deserve anything. Not my privilege in life, not my material blessings, not my health, nothing. But I've been so graciously given all these things, all by the grace of God. And you know what else? There's the super awesome thing of his gospel too!
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15
So what do I trust in? Have I laid down everything in my pursuit of a relationship with Christ?
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